Insta-Grime Photo App for the Short Term Missionary

‘Tis the season for church leaders countrywide to begin planning this year’s round of third-world Jesus tours.

Everyone knows THE most important part of any short-term missions trip is photos. I know many of you would disagree and say matching team T-shirts is the top priority. However, with a great album of photos to show, next year’s trip could already be fully funded. You just have to put together the right slide show and you’re virtually back on a plane.

You’ve thought about that ocelot-skin jacket in the market every day since getting back to your homeland. Sure, it’s endangered, but this time you WILL get it back through customs somehow, maybe wrapped in dirty underwear. Jesus Junk International wants to help.

With more than 2,000,000 vacati, uh, short-term missionaries traveling every year, you need a way to keep your photos from drowning in a sea of digital media. Jesus Junk International hears your plea and responds with Insta-Grime. This app is sure to get your hand in that $2,400,000,000 pot of annual dollars spent on short-term missions.

Insta-Grime makes your photos look more missiony.

The TEAM-alizer filter looks AWESOME!!

The Research and Development team at Jesus Junk International found that the donors-to-dollars average could be dramatically increased by plucking the heart strings of the slideshow viewer. Insta-Grime is like banjo lessons for the heart.

By now you’re asking,  “How can Insta-Grime make my mission trip photos beautifully pitiful?”

Filters.  Just like other popular photo apps.

Insta-Grime has a series of photo enhancement filters specifically designed for the short-term missionary.

 

Pre-Filter Tagging

Many of Insta-Grime’s filters work off of the simple tagging feature used to separate the Americans from the foreigners. Make sure the app knows who you want to touch up.

Body Health and Mass Extrapolator

Nothing screams “hide your wallet” like an album full of fat, healthy-looking indigenous people. The BHME runs an algorithm to determine if your natives appear too healthy. At this point Insta-Grime can shave a few pounds off of your target or you can delete the person entirely in favor of a more emaciated version from our impoverished database.

Team-alizer

Unity is all the rage these days in church circles. Now your team can look unified in every snapshot. The Team-alizer adds mission team t-shirts to all people tagged “American.” Awesome! It looks like you wore your team shirts for 14 days straight.

Melancholy Maker

A smile goes a long way in pictures, but you can’t be too careful. The M&M filter will take that big toothy grin and dial it down to a “happy you could come” in one click.

Thrift Store Fashionator

Click this and all foreigners will have what looks like the clothes from last year’s clothes drive. With a brush pallet full of stains, rips and discolorations the foreigners’ wardrobe will never appear too pristine. Remember, these folks are in need of what we have.

Nationalizer

This filter adds region-specific refuse, garbage and stray dogs to any picture, for that detailed poverty quality.

Thermometer/Humidity Index

What better way to highlight your sacrifice than to add a thermometer and humidity indicator to your photos. Not to worry, the temperature reading is completely customizable. So if it felt like 150 degrees over there, it can be.

Insta-Grime is paving the way to a more affordable short-term missions trip for you.

For a limited time, enter code SoPoorButHAPPY at check-out for a 15% discount on all Jesus Junk International products.

Have you ever been on a short term mission trip? How do you select what photos make into your presentation back home?

I’ve been on short term missions trips. It’s the reason I am in Paraguay now but I think we could improve on them.

9 thoughts on “Insta-Grime Photo App for the Short Term Missionary

Add yours

  1. Since Insta-Grime has the “shirt replacement” technology, can I make a request?

    Loser shirts. You know when they hand out shirts after the Super Bowl or NBA finals? It’s obvious they have two giant boxes of shirts just waiting. Even more back in the hometowns. But as 1 Corinthians 9:24 tells us, only one gets the prize. The shirts of the loser are sent overseas to those who don’t care if the shirt is correct. Because nothing adds “These people don’t know what’s going on” like wearing the shirt of the loser of the big game that says they won.

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  2. I did go on a short term missions trip to Mazatlan. However, we didn’t get to present our pictures and tell our stories afterwards. Let’s just say that leadership was focused on other things at the time. It wouldn’t have mattered for me because I had a camera that was one of the first generation digital cameras and was bigger than I wanted to carry when we were working in small, portable kitchens and iPhones hadn’t been invented yet. I also envisioned my klutzy self dropping it, falling on it, or it being stolen and I didn’t want to handle that guilt. So most of the pictures I took involved beautiful sunsets on the beach or pictures at restaurants with other missionaries after our day’s mission had been completed. Therefore, my request is for a multiplier option, so that I can take the one or two pictures of me with the dirty, skinny child and make modifications so that it looks like a hugged every child in the neighborhood :-D. (I did hug them and play games with them and helped with crafts and such).

    This brings up an important philosophical question: If a person goes on a short term missions trip and doesn’t have any pictures (or FB postings), were they really there?

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    1. The foreigner multiplier, hmmm. I think we could accommodate that. As for your philosophical question, it’s similar to the age old conundrum–If a tree falls in a 3rd world country and there are not any Short term missionaries to film or photo it does it make a hut?

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  3. I love the tag at the end of Kris’ comment. I wish I knew the answer to that.

    As far as picking pictures for the mission trip presentation at church, you pretty much hit on all of my criteria- the stray dog, obviously, being the most crucial. I cannot wait to see how many hours this new app will shave off my prep time for this year’s slideshow. THANK YOU!!

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    1. Jesus Junk Int. is thrilled to make your slide prep more efficient. We thought the stray dog and the nationalization of trash was crucial to the ambient missiony-ness.

      See Kris’ reply from me-still more questions but fun ones none the less.

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