‘Tis the season for church leaders countrywide to begin planning this year’s round of third-world Jesus tours.
Everyone knows THE most important part of any short-term missions trip is photos. I know many of you would disagree and say matching team T-shirts is the top priority. However, with a great album of photos to show, next year’s trip could already be fully funded. You just have to put together the right slide show and you’re virtually back on a plane.
You’ve thought about that ocelot-skin jacket in the market every day since getting back to your homeland. Sure, it’s endangered, but this time you WILL get it back through customs somehow, maybe wrapped in dirty underwear. Jesus Junk International wants to help.
With more than 2,000,000 vacati, uh, short-term missionaries traveling every year, you need a way to keep your photos from drowning in a sea of digital media. Jesus Junk International hears your plea and responds with Insta-Grime. This app is sure to get your hand in that $2,400,000,000 pot of annual dollars spent on short-term missions.
Insta-Grime makes your photos look more missiony.
The Research and Development team at Jesus Junk International found that the donors-to-dollars average could be dramatically increased by plucking the heart strings of the slideshow viewer. Insta-Grime is like banjo lessons for the heart.
By now you’re asking, “How can Insta-Grime make my mission trip photos beautifully pitiful?”
Filters. Just like other popular photo apps.
Insta-Grime has a series of photo enhancement filters specifically designed for the short-term missionary.
Many of Insta-Grime’s filters work off of the simple tagging feature used to separate the Americans from the foreigners. Make sure the app knows who you want to touch up.
Body Health and Mass Extrapolator
Nothing screams “hide your wallet” like an album full of fat, healthy-looking indigenous people. The BHME runs an algorithm to determine if your natives appear too healthy. At this point Insta-Grime can shave a few pounds off of your target or you can delete the person entirely in favor of a more emaciated version from our impoverished database.
Unity is all the rage these days in church circles. Now your team can look unified in every snapshot. The Team-alizer adds mission team t-shirts to all people tagged “American.” Awesome! It looks like you wore your team shirts for 14 days straight.
A smile goes a long way in pictures, but you can’t be too careful. The M&M filter will take that big toothy grin and dial it down to a “happy you could come” in one click.
Thrift Store Fashionator
Click this and all foreigners will have what looks like the clothes from last year’s clothes drive. With a brush pallet full of stains, rips and discolorations the foreigners’ wardrobe will never appear too pristine. Remember, these folks are in need of what we have.
This filter adds region-specific refuse, garbage and stray dogs to any picture, for that detailed poverty quality.
What better way to highlight your sacrifice than to add a thermometer and humidity indicator to your photos. Not to worry, the temperature reading is completely customizable. So if it felt like 150 degrees over there, it can be.
Insta-Grime is paving the way to a more affordable short-term missions trip for you.
For a limited time, enter code SoPoorButHAPPY at check-out for a 15% discount on all Jesus Junk International products.
Have you ever been on a short term mission trip? How do you select what photos make into your presentation back home?I’ve been on short term missions trips. It’s the reason I am in Paraguay now but I think we could improve on them.