“Momma always said my voice was like a Screech Owl hung in a screen door, so it’s no wonder that it was difficult to keep people in the seats here at First Strip-Mall Rental Sanctuary of the Redeemer. With Pastor Biggs from THE First Mega Apostles Assembly of the Friendly Seekers Super Cell Group Church being a trained radio announcer, it was tough to compete with his silky smooth locution. We already overcame the building envy with Cathedral in a Can, but we needed an edge in the audio department. Thanks to Jesus Junk International we now have that edge…”
The Apostle’s Power Reverb. You heard right, The Apostle’s Power Reverb can offer your Fife-like pastor the pipes to command attention. This little bit of electronic wizardry connects directly to your pre-existing sound system. Place the Apostle’s Power Reverb inline between your pastor’s microphone and the speaker system, select your voice filter setting and watch the crowds pour in.
Who could resist the mellow bass droning of the James Earle Jones filter? Just his soulful sound makes us want to be better. Don’t even mention the possibilities of using his Vader voice for conviction sermons. Can you say conversion? The Apostle’s Power Reverb can have even little Johnny Squeekmeyer soothing the exiting masses.
Sure, The Harry Potter movies are forbidden fodder for the average Christian, but what pastor doesn’t pine for the sumptuous syncopated resonance of Severus Snape—actor Alan Rickman. British Accent + Lavish Tone = Tithes. Choosing this filter = WINNING.
Do you think anybody ever slipped out the back door to beat the crowds at Golden Corral while Aslan was speaking? I think not. Technically speaking, Aslan is God; however, the actor Liam Neeson, who is the voice of Aslan, is not. Now you can sound just like him because, after all, you’re not a tame pastor but you can sound good. Click this filter and your fantasy will come true—people will stay till the closing prayer.
The Apostle’s Power Reverb will amp up your pastor’s audio presence and assure the fence riders and seekers that he doesn’t just sound like a leader—he is one.
It’s great for worship leaders, too. If your praise and worship leader sounds like a bag of coat hangers being poured out it’s time to invest in The Apostle’s Power Reverb. Sure he keeps the parking lot clear of stray dogs with that squeal but he is ruining the meeting hall mellow for the pastor.
Act now and get The Apostle’s Power Reverb, Cathedral in Can and The Harmonic Translator in what we call the More Than Conquerors Greater Than pack. If you want to be greater than the church down the street it’s a must. As always receive a bundle discount on all Jesus Junk International products purchased together.
Does your pastor sound like he’s preaching in the Superdome? I noticed during a recent church visit the pastor had his very own digital effects setting. Have you noticed this before? What do you think?