The Prayer Time Hand Laser

Have you ever been in a church service when the moderator asks if there are any prayer requests? Hands go up on every side; people want your help taking their needs before God. If your church is like mine it has grown too large to accommodate the “anointing and laying on of hands” by everyone present.

This conundrum is where the idea of raising and pointing your hand in the direction of the prayer target was first instituted. It was thought of as a way to include the large crowd in the intimate practice of collaborative prayer.

The problem comes in when there are several people up front asking for prayer. How can you be sure your prayers are hitting their mark? You don’t want to accidentally pray for the same person multiple times while leaving the others without the benefit of your spiritual prowess. Don’t you wish there was a way to pinpoint exactly where the prayers emanating from your hands are going?

There is!

Jesus Junk International has solved the devastating problem of errant prayer accuracy associated with the hand-pointed prayer. It’s called the Prayer Time Hand Laser.

The Prayer Time Hand Laser takes the guess-work out of guiding your petitions by properly aligning your hand with its intended target. Just slip the Prayer Time Hand Laser over your wrist and flip the switch. Now, every time you raise your hand you can be assured your prayers are not on some wayward journey but on a precision flight to extra-spiritual synergy.

No more does the glowing red dot of a laser aiming device mean certain death at the hands of a trained assassin, it could mean the answer to your prayers. The Prayer Time Hand Laser Lx comes with top or bottom mount laser and a variety of laser light shapes. The bottom mount allows for stylistic nuances in your prayer delivery–think Spider-man. What cooler way to show your prayerful support than to flip your wrist and web sling your “Our Father” from 50 yards out?

Maybe you’re not as adventurous as the friendly neighborhood arachnid lover but you still want to customize your prayer presence. Jesus Junk hears and engineers. You are not limited to the dull and alarming red dot of death. The Lx model offers your choice of over thirty popular Christian icons. Who could mistake your prayer backing when the letters WWJD show up emblazoned on the backs of the petitioners? Of course, there are five different crosses to choose from as well as the head of Jesus and a crown of thorns. Not to mention these great selections:

  • Ten commandment tablets
  • Judas hanging
  • An apple
  • 5 loaves and 2 fish
  • Billy Graham’s face
  • Benny Hinn’s suit jacket
  • Bottle of olive oil
  • The Ark
  • Joel Osteen’s toothy smile… and many more.
  • Custom icon shapes available upon request.

 

The Prayer Time Hand Laser is always at the ready, thanks to its 514 microprocessor by James. The processor identifies source hot spots while rechargeable batteries are siphoning airborne current from the ever-present cell phone activity in the sanctuary.

Don’t be caught firing your prayers at random corners of the spirit world.  Instead, pick up your very own Prayer Time Hand Laser today. Act now and receive a 15% discount on any other Jesus Junk International products. We don’t want your evangelical ensemble to clash, so The Prayer Time Hand Laser comes in all the same popular patterns and colors as the Jesus Jacket. Call today, someone’s request may depend on it.

List your custom icon preferences in the comments section. 

10 thoughts on “The Prayer Time Hand Laser

Add yours

  1. Funny thing about the Ten Commandments display at our school: cops are always hiding behind it to catch people speeding. =)

    Like

  2. Friday you had me crying and today I am laughing so hard I am crying. I especially love the hanging Judas icon. I would probably only send that when I am praying for my “enemies.”

    Like

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